Lovin’ Between The Pies

(above:  pietro’s coal oven pizzeria)

This is the second time the Macho Monday ‘Pizza Maestro’ has brought his band of macho colleagues to Pietro’s, and both times he has T-bagged the face of this saucy pie with a set of thick, meaty balls.  Oh, c’mon!  Get your mind outta the gutter.  I’m talking about their hand-made, Italian meatballs.  These balls rest comfortably in molten mozzarella lava that is swimming in a sea of zesty marinara sauce.  The perfect masterpiece painted with a brush of basil.  But the exhibition does not stop here.  Now we must move into the main gallery hall.  It is here that we find an obscure piece known to the meat and potato movement.  It is a garlic based, potato chunked topped with the abstraction of uncooked prosciutto.  This post-modern favorite did not go over well with this table of acclaimed critics.  Too dry, too salty, too over the top.  Stick with the classics.

Q

(above:  q bbq and tequila)

No bibs for these ribs.  Just roll up yo’ sleeves and slop it up!  You would have thought that it would have been an easy decision when ordering a rack of ribs, but Q throws a wrench in your chain with a ‘not so simple’ menu.  This menu makes you feel as if you are at the bargain barn, only you’re really at the heavy-petting zoo of price-pairing confusion.  However, this is all excusable, because Q brings no confusion to the table when debating what a rib should be.  This meat stick brings the hurt so bad that its been banned from the adult rib industry.  This rib didn’t get slaughtered, it did the slaughtering.  The authenticity is transparent in the historic photos that line the walls of the restaurant.  Now one special that is certainly not special is the ’shot n’ beer’ special.  I want to know who thinks it is a good idea to cheat a tequila shot with a partial mix of triple sec!  This must be the same mom that cuts corners and waters down the cool-aid at soccer practice.  I mean seriously!

Wing Finger At Bryne’s

(above:  bryne’s tavern)

Jump on the Girard Trolley and head east to Port Richmond’s friendly tavern known as Bryne’s.  It does not come as a shock when you let the waitress know that you are here for wings.  In fact, they tell you that you are here for wings.  The only real debate is, ‘how many?’ 4x 25 wing bowls please.  Just don’t be the one caught eating the bottom-bowl wing.  This wing is more like the toxic avenger’s severed toe.  Kinda scary.

P.S. If you let Big Steve get you too drunk, and you let Shawn get you too crunk, then you will drop your iphone into on-coming traffic and this will happen..

..easy come, easy go…